| hey everyone |
[Dec. 24th, 2008|03:24 pm] |
hey no one,
it's awesome always knowing that my live journal is here but I never post in it.
I hardly remember starting it, it's kind of a blur, but as far as computer screens going I'd say it's a decently sharp memory aha..
yes! well, i'd love to start actively posting again, maybe not always about art either!
I know i'm writing to myself, since I don't really publicize this thing, but heck..I plan to when I get my life rolling down the art road a bit more...That way people can see how I started drawing little cliche anime girls and amateur comic pages that just burn my eyes to read.
I used to be so involved in the "anime community"
But now..I dont even think im going to anime expo next year. I really don't think so.. as much as I still appreciate anime, i don't stay up all night watching anime any longer, and I don't run to bookstores anymore to buy more manga.. I've moved away from anime alot lately.
I've just been so busy with stupid life, but instead of manga i've been reading more novels lately, so I have myself wrapped up in writing alot more, and i've been trying to improve on that as well.
Ofcourse I still do art! But I just am trying to develop myself uniquely, so veering away is from anime I think is the best thing for me right now..Haaha, im making myself want to go read manga actually just thinking about how lethargic i've been todo so..actually more careless..
haha, i remember being at my grandmas house..it was really hot out, and i'd go to the book store, and got all these little shoujo mangas, and especially remember reading mahoromtaic in the hot sun on this random..gah i forget what you call them.. but they were adjustable convenient seatings at my grandmas in redlands.
Anywhose, I loved this series:  mainly because it was so cutesy, and i loved how the characters were developing and the plot, i was never always interested in the sexual tensions, but just the reactions of the male character made me laugh. haha..I have so much manga it's quite intense how involved i was.I just looked through my bookshelf, and i'm actually realizing how it isnt immature to read manga..Not at all, manga really helped me in many ways. I cant even explain..
so why even start? hahaha...Yeah.. I dont know. |
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| My very first painting |
[Dec. 19th, 2008|01:09 pm] |
It's my first year joining this drawing/painting class in highschool. Painting intimidated me because I always used pencil and ink...so I admit it was difficult! Didn't take me to long to paint actually! I am proud of it somewhat :)
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| aint no sunshine |
[Oct. 23rd, 2008|10:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | cat stevens - trouble | ] |
I'm not sure. Yes. Oh yes, not so sure. I see everything about flying yay so pretty talking gnomes and your green cloaks and magical hats, prancing about fields mischief, wonder, beauty, beauty, beauty wonder.
I am falling apart, sometimes I tape back together, like now, i'm pleased..even though I haven't done my world lit. homework. Literature.
Ugh, i'm so fucking trashed.
Anyway,
alot of people look for symbolism in my art lately, especially in forums, they dont see any..because their isn't any distinct symbolism at all!
It's all shit piled up in my thoughts, bleeding through onto sketchbook paper and roughly inked out of stupid patience.
I like this one..
I think it is messy, but I like it..
I think I like it because its more. I never draw tree's or anything.
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| nothing minds |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|10:30 pm] |
Facing life obstacles at my age is harder then I predicted. My thinking patterns scare the shit out of me. I'm happiest when I step into reverie doors, hiding away in my more eventful imagination..Unfortunitely everyone has a key, and exposure is frightening. I'm faced with disgust, reality. gehdfuqw Dejavu. I had typing Dejavu.
I had dejavu.
I typed, and got dejavu.
Three times in a row!
THREE TIMES.
in a row.
.
That's my mortuary beautician. I didn't decide it before, but I decided it now that this character is very familiar with Inspector Gadget! Ofcourse, only, when it comes to his limbs. If I said her, it would confuse you I hope. I'm just saying, someone thought "HE" was a woman. Which wouldn't be so bad, but this is a gentelman.
And he beautifies corpses for Awake funerals.
Lets dance, lets party, lets listen to Cat Stevens. |
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| arts |
[Oct. 12th, 2008|11:22 pm] |
Why not make a post? It's late right now, late on a school night anyway.
Perhaps I decided to see what was actually wrong with my scanner, fix it, and make some arts.
I had taken a photograph of it and attempted to use that, but it got all murky in the upload, quite upsetting.
So due to me going back on manga academy today, I was motivated to fix it, and so i did. *shifty eyes*
anyway.
I've been fucked up, busy, trashy, and terrible.
So busy with school, then busy with work, then busy being lazy as fuck and exhausted as burning hell.
I'm so weirded out these days by myself. I dont think i'm doing "great" but i'm considered O.K to myself. I'm not sure.
I've just been distracted doing unproductive things.
Art is just scary for me now. I don't see my potential anymore
I just see.. I'm not sure, lazyness.
Corners cut.
Boring.
Busy bored. |
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| Less daydreaming please |
[Aug. 20th, 2008|01:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Wizard Rock: Riddletm | ] |
I suck. I really do.
I have been lacking alot of inspiration lately, which is odd, because ive been around alot of art.
I feel discouraged.
Im not sure why..
I'm not even going to post the finished product of the piece below this one, because i didnt get the best reaction off of it.
Anyway,
here are the videos from anime expo that i promised to put on here for some reason:
Welp there we go.
Anwayy.. I have alot of ideas, I just get exhausted at the end of the day, and find myself onluy able to spend my energy doing semi-satisfying things. Such as: clicking a mouse, watching television, eating.. and the productive energy is just sucked into my job at Vons.
Which at this point? : )
IS MISERABLE.
Something massively important to me is not dissapointing people. When you work at Vons, or any sort of work that involves the elderly relying on you, you're going to get dissapointed customers. No matter what O_O; I swear =[.. and when its not the elderly, trust me, the elderly broke me down to that point.
Ugh >=[ .. OFCOURSE i try my best to look like its easy and i'm perfectly happy being a checker, or cashier (whatever)
BUT I CANT TAKE IT >;0. Being at the register is like being locked in a cage! Im not allowed to leave it! : [ and everyone is so mean to me. I feel like ive thoroughly irritated all of the supervisers and experienced checkers around me with my numerous questions. (That i ask over and over because I always forget the answer)
SO IVE BEEN A CHECKER FOR 3 DAYS AND ITS KILLING ME.
>:[ >:[ >:[
i wish that i got angry instead of let down and sad when people were mean to me xD. like seriously, i would rather get pissed off then sad and passive.
I literally turn to puddy : P an 8 yr old girl could step on me when im like this. No kidding.
lol =[
so yeah : D.. i feel absalutely no inspiration to be an artist right now, i just cannot ballance it out, it's like im disabled.
Gawd, this sucks.
.
.
.
I have so much I want todo as well. Ive been writing my Nothing story, and so far it's nothing =_= kidding..It's going really well.. Ive renamed the main character Prudent : P
and I renamed Phil, Nolan.. I'm happy with those changes xD.. Ive also decided to make a huge addition to the very beginning. I normally like to start a story with the characters, but I need to start this time by describing the issues with the town instead of just going straight to Prudent. I think I will avoid alot of confusion this way, but I also feel I risk readers getting easily bored. Not the best first impression. I'll have to be creative for that part..
/sigh/ if I ever fucking get to it. I need to invest myself in less day dreaming and more action. I'm going crazy. |
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| well ive been busy |
[Jul. 22nd, 2008|01:50 am] |
Anime Expo was best,i'll be posting videos where I vlogged about the convention on my livejournal, but due to lazyness.. Theyre on my youtube though at www.youtube.com/paperstory
I dont know who the fuck i am informing either, lmao.
Anyway, I've decided to start something new! I want to finish every project I do, even if I mess up, so here's the progress w/ this load of s****
Her hair...I was, uh, going for a messy dreadlock look and came up with this, I dislike it actually, quite dissapointed with how the inking *in general* has come out, but im workin on it! I like the colours so far, but not sure if im happy with my choice for her lip-wear. Anyway, here it is! I hope to finish it by the end of the month.
Can't say I have much anime related stuff to talk about after I post my videos, the convention was everything I hoped it would be! Naomi going made everything 100x more awesome.
I am bleeding my eyes through this manga called "Fever" it's actually quite horrible! lol, the art is pretty, but the story is making me yawn, well the way the story is told anyway through visuals and dialogue, it's just shit so far. Not to say its shit actually, I just havent run into a manga that ive been this dissapointed with. But who knowes? Maybe my criticism these days is just becoming harsher. Knowing that nobody is going to read this..I have nothing else to say about Fever other then that I'm going to continue reading it every now and then :S
I'm inking a comic strip i did, so maybe ill post that *one day* xD..
peace.
tsuki |
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| Thankyou Lexi! |
[Jul. 1st, 2008|01:00 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sixpence None The Richer | ] |
My good friend Lexi has red lined the left leg on my drawing! Thankyou thankyou. I think it looks much better. The colors, and texture of this whole drawing was just quickly added in photoshop, not so fond of it, but this is just a sketch, so it will look much different inked and everything.
Omgomgomgomgomg.
So tomorrow, since I have no work *thankfully* I get to spend the day packing for Anime Expo! I'm so glad Naomi is going with me to! ^^; so it will be quit entertaining driving up there with her. Very much happy! : D |
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| Okay |
[Jun. 29th, 2008|12:26 pm] |
Okay, i shall now update you!
Anime expo is in a few days, and i am seriously looking forward to this event! Naomi is actually coming with me, which was last minute plans, and she managed to get a ticket! Naomi is my best friend since I was 3 or 4, so ive known her for quite some years, and am quite pelased to have her aboard with me on my LA adventure!
I still havent gotten my ticket, but i recieved an email asking me to print out the confirmation o_O; and that way ill be able to recieve a badge. Not sure how all that is going to be working, seems a bit dodgy to me! BUT EITHER WAY, im so excited!! >: D and i dont have much to say to you non existent people! so ill show you a sketch im working on
Her legs look chunky, but not to say that Abby isnt a big girl v_v;
anyway, I think once I shade the legs, it will look better. I spent alot of time on this, but oddly, im not too sure I like it as much.
We'll see. |
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| hooray! |
[Jun. 20th, 2008|01:29 am] |
Okay first off im going to update you on my progress with my drawing.
WAlaaa! Im liking how it turned out actually o_o; and this is just the sketch, so im just messing with colors, but im trying to make it look pretty since I never get around to inking most of my sketches anyway!
So oh goodness, its summer peoples.. and its pretty deep into june already.. aka, my birthday soon on the 23rd. Im going to be 18 *_*; but who cares about that bullshit, ANIME EXPO IS COMING UP! WOOHOO, HORRAY, ETC.. >: D i cant express the pure joy--*vibrate, vibrate* one second..who textes me at fucking 1:32 AM? oh HAHAHAH, my english mate in Bournemouth United Kingdom, lovely, its like morning for her.
OK, like i was saying, omg anime expo..coming up..another year of absalute greatness, well, this year will be much better. I can just tell for some reason..Like i was saying. xD
also, i made a video.. yes I make videos, uhmm, yah, its of me talking about art, I pretty much blog my journal posts.
So here ya go: To ULTIMATELY update all my livejournal viewers (lmao)
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| been thinking |
[Jun. 14th, 2008|11:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My desk | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | rushed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sarah Mclaughlin- Stupid | ] |
I'm scared I dont have whats cut out to be a manga artist. I want to tell stories through visual art, I want to write...i want to design. I want to leave my mark in the art world, and inspire people, and make people feel good, or question things, or realize things through my art.
Ive never been so un-modest, and truthful.
But its why I want to draw graphic novels. Not only do I love it, & the people & the community that surround it, but I have a story to tell.
I'm afraid I wont have what it takes. I'm afraid I wont have the patience, or the focus. Its easy to say "I want to be this, I want to be that" when the idea seems so distant, so I sat down and pondered what my life really will be like, ignore my childish dreams, lets be realistic here...I asked myself, do I have it? do I have what it takes to make it in this industry? The strength to take the criticism, the harsh words. I think I might, as long as I believe in myself. I dont believe in my drawing art very much. I need to get better..
I feel so much inside when it comes to this. I'm going to ANIME EXPO alone, not because I have no one to go with, but because I love this industry so much to the point where I want to embrace it all bt myself,its almost like a selfish thing, its such a personal subject for me. I'm not in it just for the cutesy anime and pocky kids, i'm here for the long-run.
Theres just so much to take into consideration.
Ill be 18 on June 23..I just need to get organized, think things through. |
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| art post |
[Apr. 28th, 2008|10:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my desk | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | embarrassed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | sarah mclaughlin | ] |
I kill my art with photoshop D:
How are all my viewers? xD i crack myself up. Ohkayyy!!! I found a new way to draw that will allow me to be more patient, as well as happy with my drawing. Gloves! I shall wear a glove on my drawing hand, which will prevent smudging of graphite! : D. I got the idea from tentopet's video on youtube, during one of her tutorials on copic coloring xD.. I feel sort of amateur, because apparently it isnt exactly some unkown strategy :S Its pretty much necessary.
How long have i been drawing again? xD..
Anyway! My new post sucks : P, I just wanted to get more artwork out there, and i know i pretty much butchered this piece with my photoshop splurge, but either way i wanted to show off the concept! I dont look at anything much more for references, (which isnt good) but im proud of myself. Ive realized that art is more then just pencil to the paper.. It's really actually releasing images from your mind.. But first forming them, and forming them to a point where the image is clear and distinct in your brain to wear you can almost draw with your eyes closed :S..The last bit is overduing it. Ofcourse this is an obvious realization that anybody would agree to! But it took me a long time to actually nail this tactic. I assumed i was doing it, right? But its more deeper then I thought. (pun)
;S wow.
Anyway! I am worthless when it comes to explaining things! Well, explaining things thrououghly to a point where i am satisfied with what i had gotten across! But I am very unsatisfied with this post, and i think it should stop.
By the way, its very warm in california at the moment, i am unfortunitely having to not even wear a shirt! Its so hot in my room =_=; i hatee it. Thankfully im installing a fan in my room tomorrow! :0 preparing for summer. |
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| im posting |
[Apr. 7th, 2008|12:54 am] |
I'm actually going to post, and i have an artwork to show.
I have pre-ordered my anime expo tickets. So all is well there. But unfortunite =_= their lies problems..
I was sort of lazy when it came to my hotel room. I just put it off for a bit.. Anime expo is 3 months away.. Well! Basically every hotel in L.A is booked so far : ].
>.>; Right. Well, for next year I will take this as a lesson learned! Hahaha. But I hav enot given up! : D. My uncle has connections of some sort, so hopefully something bright will work out there.
I really hope that I can get a room D:, ughhhh whyyyyy diiidddnttt I prepppareee. >:[ I dont know, I have no excuse. I feel so stupid is all I have to say about that. Lol.
Okay.
Life is good, i work alot, and I draw alot, and I read alot of novels and take alot of photos.
I love B/W photography and am saddened to announce that smirley is leaving next year, and i dont think they are hiring a new B/W photography teacher. I will have to either decide between just going into digital photography, and investing in some other new type of art form. Which isnt bad! I just adore the dark room : [ which makes me care less about digital.
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| frustration |
[Mar. 8th, 2008|02:37 am] |
i think i need to be myself more often.
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| ugh im unhappy alot |
[Feb. 20th, 2008|04:29 pm] |
and because of my lack of gladness I dont have anything artistic to show you. I havent even touched my journal for about a month now. I feel somewhat happy at work, but i think thats because im around people and i feel somewhat comfortable. I like being around people, I also like being at home in my room and completely relaxed and comfortable, but at times loneliness feels like temp. happy drugs that is only stimulating because im being unhealthy.
Blood is dried on the side of my face because I'm unsuccesful at shaving.
When i draw freely and things I want to draw, i dont draw Abby. I dont draw happy little girls with choppy hair, dressed in lace. I draw deformed humans, with warped or unuseable organs, and amputated limbs replaced with strange devices patruding from their bodies. I know it sounds violent and gruesome. But oddly it looks calm, and somewhat peaceful and for some reason makes perfect sense to me. Maybe one day ill post things like that. |
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| Videos and updates |
[Dec. 17th, 2007|07:39 pm] |
Greetings Nobody! : D
I know you've all missed me in my absence =]. I know that you refresh this page day by day awaiting my return...well your finally your pain and suffering has come to an end! *sneezes* for i am finally aposte'
anyway.
I'm posting for no reason in particular except to share some laughs..
That for one, made my night.. Ive never laughed so hard... "KIRA HAS BEEN SUSPENDED! XD" The book being taken away by the teacher and sent to the principal D:..this kira isnt so smart after all! XD, no seriously..what rubbish! I couldnt believe that any school administrator would take this seriously once made clear of the circumstances, and where the idea came from..Lol..Its just so ridiculous seeing this kid of thing on the news. Its like a running scam to the media, and all the death note fans out there laughing their asses off.
Another laugh was this performance..
Lmao..Ive watched it more then once. (just to clear that up!) xD
ohkayyyy! Oh yah, and anime expo : D; its not even next year and my mind is flowing with anime expo dreams >_>; Im so excited! yay, and chihaya is coming with me! : D the joys, shes gunna crash in my hotel >.>; im also bringing a dvd player with me xD..yaoi/yuri all night! xDD everynighhtttt
oh yah! and i read the new dramacon! I loved it! Christy sort of dissapointed me though.. she acted a bit too ditsy in this one, well; by the end i was quite satisfied, and finally!!!! MATT AND CHRISTY HOOKING UP !!?? uhhmygawdddd! I was so happy, hahaha (well not really "hooking up" :P). I was really happy by the end, no suspense or any nonsense like that, i cant wait till the 4th one. ..wait a second.. Is..is there going to be a 4th?!?! I cant really remember it saying there was going to be =_= if there is no 4th i am quite displeased.
SVET! MAKE A 4TH! XD hahaha >_>; norly.
kay im going to go do my hw.. I have school/work tom. oiii =_= |
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| character for my book |
[Dec. 13th, 2007|08:14 pm] |
This is the character for a book ive been writing since sixth grade. Well, i actually had written a 246 book in sixth grade, but i had lost the entire story when my computer decided to break. But thats okay! I had wanted to re-write it since I had improved..so ive been working on it since 9th grade.. Havent gotten that far unfortunitely, i keep reduing things..which is good, its helping me become a better writer anyway.
well heres my main character, its unfinished and looks nothing like how i described him. Lol. Oh well.
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sotsuki's journal
